The Software Graftsmanship Manifesto

As aspiring SCUM Certified^TMSCAM Artists we are raising the bar of graftsmanship by taking money from anyone that we can. Through this effort we have come to value:

Working software, particularly the banking software which transfers money into our accounts.

Responding to change, particularly responding to anyone paying us via paper money.

Individuals and interactions, particularly individuals with a weak sense of ethics or who aren’t bright enough to know a scam when they see it.

Customer collaboration, particularly as long as they pay on time and in full.

That is, we have found the items on the left to be indispensable marketing camouflage in the blind pursuit of profit from the items on the right.

Parting Thoughts

Yes, this is an April Fool’s Day joke. Sadly, this collection of pages is a parody of a very serious ethical lapse within the agile community. I believe that we can do much better. My hope is that this joke has made you step back and think about what’s going on around you. Being a “Certified X”, whatever X happens to be, implies that you’ve done something to earn that certification. If you’ve done very little to earn a certification then at best that’s what your certification is worth: very little. If you’re involved in a questionable certification scheme, regardless of whatever justifications that you tell yourself you have still shamed both yourself and your so-called profession. If you turn a blind eye to people who claim to be “certified masters” after doing almost nothing to earn that certification then you too are complicit: As Edmund Burke first said, all that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. I invite everyone in the agile community to read Ethics for the Real World and to stand up and show some integrity — Until then, our integrity debt will continue to grow. Enough is enough.

Page creation date: April 1, 2009